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Footnotes, Flat Notes, and Other Stupid Things Okay, here's the guide to all the ridiculous and out of place references I made in this story. If you already knew what I was talking about, bully for you. If you didn't, here's the mighty compilation of foot notes. 1. A "jay gee" is a Junior Grade lieutenant
in the Navy. This is the rank below "lieutenant." 2. A Portnoy mouth piece, like any good
clarinet mouth piece, is made from a very hard rubber -it's not the type of
rubber that can be used in a game of walley ball. In that regard, the
rubber Kaos door won't bounce intruders off of it, but it's still tough enough
to resist them. 3. NSPSGT,
also known as Navy
Special Polaris Submarine Grade Tissue, does actually exist -and existed all to
well on a certain navy vessel depicted as the USS Carnation in
Todd Hunt's The Ship With the Flat Tire. While Hunt's book was a
fictualization (as well as banned by the US Navy), the overstocking of the wrong
toilet paper on the wrong type of ship did occur. 4. A Gibson,
according to Get Smart lore, is Maxwell Smart's favorite hard drink. A
Gibson is actually a very dry martini that is garnished with a pearl onion
instead of an olive. Do not worry about Agent 86 having a drinking
problem, because Smart always spills his Gibson whether he wants to or not. 5. Hamburger Hamlet
really is located in Crystal City, Virginia, but whether or not it had a
fountain is something the author will not verify. Being that it's a chain
that serves specialty hamburgers ( such burgers include the "Marilyn"
and "Emperor Henry IV"), Hamburger Hamlets can be found in Washington
D.C., Chicago, and in Southern California. For a fun fact, U.S. President
Bill Clinton and Vice President Al Gore were known to frequent the Crystal City Hamlet.
6. 4639.1
is not an actual star date that could be fit into Star Trek's timeline.
Sorry 'bout that Trekkies. 46391, however, is the zip code for Westville,
Indiana.
7. The Blue Shirt
could not be worn by Scotty because he's not a science officer like Spock and
McCoy. Only science officers in the Federation can wear a blue
uniform. That joke, by the way was an idea from my good friend Saber
Shadow Kitten. Tank-ya much!
8. In and Out
is an American restaurant chain familiar to the western half of the
country. I've heard they're mighty fine.
9. Foggy Bottom and
Pentagon City are actual D.C. metro line
stops. Foggy Bottom takes one to the likes of the White House and George
Washington University and Pentagon City is self-explanatory.
10. North,
in a bit of literary foreshadowing, has been traditionally depicted in classic
literature as the place where all the bad things, devils included, exist.
11.John Travolta,
for those of you that missed out on the glorious years of the Sweathogs, played Vinnie Barbarino
in Welcome Back Kotter which aired from 1975 to 1979.
12.Aldrich Ames
was... wait a sec, don't you believe my character? Don't you think she's
factual? *sigh* As Lucy Bently notes in the story, Ames was a CIA mole
that was snuffed out in March of 1994 and is presently sitting in jail.
13. The S.S. was
the Gestapo - the Nazi's secret police.
14. The real Capital Beltway
makes a giant circle about the city of Washington D.C. As for the
fictional Beltway in this story...that's classified.
15.Voltaire, a French writer and philosopher was a household name in
the 1700s. He wrote Candide.
16.The 38 Parallel, the home base of many a bloody skirmish, is
dividing line between communist North Korea and democratic South Korea.
17.Nobody Does it Better was the title song, as preformed by Carly
Simon, the 1977 James Bond film, The Spy Who Loved Me.
18.Shirley Temples are made with ginger ale, no booze, and a garnished
with a cherry. They are not served in shot glasses.
19.A Thing is a type of
Volkswagen, made in 1974, that
is...really hard to describe. My description: a convertible jeep that
looks like it's exterior has been 'slapped' together. Check out this VW
Thing Page for pics and more info.
20.The National
Tower, which was imploded on July 3, 2000, was built
in the 1970s to provide tourists with a birds eye view of the Gettysburg
Battlefield.
21. Devil's Den, a point of interest during the second day of the Battle of
Gettysburg, was used as a hiding place by the Confederate troops.
22.Frank Lloyd Wright was one of the famous Wright brothers.
Frank, along with brother John Lloyd Wright, were noteworthy
architects of the twentieth century. Oh.. were you thinking I was
referring to Orville and Wilbur?
23. M. Finn, the name found scrawled in
Ant�'s drink in Part 6, is actually a referring to the slang Mickey Finn or the
act of slipping a Mickey
24. Hymie
is a variant of the name Chaim, a Hebrew
name which means "life" and is the male version of the name Eve
25.Battling Biff Bannister, if you're not up on
your Larabee Lore, was Larabee's pro-wrestler wife.
26. The Tie Bib
idea came from fellow smartian
story writer Gina Woodard. Her site is here.
27.A Cover
is that white thing that enlisted
sailors wear on their heads.
28. Roy Orbison
once upon a time recorded a rendition of
Pretty Paper which
is referred to in Hymie's lines in the previous sentence.
29. Prometheus, in Greek mythology was a titan
known as one of the benefactors of mankind. Prometheus was nice enough to
give humanity fire, but because the forbidden fire that he gave humanity was
stolen from the sun, he was tied to a cliff where a vulture would eat out his
liver daily. Prometheus means "forethought" and he was
eventually freed by the hero Hercules.
30. This is Get Smart! We don't do
Airplane
footnotes here!
31. The choice of Kosher
was the result of intense polling . Would
you believe bribery? Would believe Kosher beat Gherkin 21 to 18?
32. In Star Trek episode 29, "The
City on the Edge of Forever", Kirk and Spock follow a deranged McCoy into a
time travel device and arrive in the 1930s. In episode 56,
"Assignment: Earth", Spock and Kirk arrive in the later half of
the 20th Century to pursue a time traveler.
33. W Street at the corner of 34th
Street is one of the addresses used for Control Headquarters in the original
series.
34. Grammy winner Herb Alpert and partner Jerome Moss sued A&M and it's
corporate head Polygram in June of 1998. The two claimed that a
shareholder's trust was shortchanged during Polygram's purchase of their label,
A&M and that a Canadian tax refund was mishandled.
35. That wealthy casino owner would be referring to the infamous Victor Royal
who was 99's beau in "99 Loses Control."
36. September 13, 1965 was the air date for the very first Get Smart
episode, "Mr. Big."
37. Larabee broke the Hotline in "Ironhand" the episode that
would have been set prior to this piece of fan fic.
"Naming Notes" or "The Hidden Virtues of Tuckerization" Lucy Bently: St. Lucy is the patron saint of writers, the name 'Lucy' means light, and the Lucy of Charlie Brown fame was the epitome of a control freak. Actually... I named Lucy for my great-grandmother, Lucy King. James Bond drove a Bently, but when Lucy is added to Bently, there is a certain sense of onomatopoeia to the name. Dr. Croaker's name is pulled straight from detective fiction jargon -a "croaker" is a Doctor. Inspector 3 is so named 3 in remembrance of late great stock car driver, Dale Earnhardt. Opal is actually the name of Purdue North Central's dysfunctional email and internet server.
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