Bridge by Phillip Alder 7-29-91
From 1965 to 1970 the top-ranked TV show was "Get Smart," a sitcom
spy spoof. An organization called Control fought for goodness and
niceness against the forces of evil from Kaos.
Government cutbacks closed control early in 1970, leaving Kaos
unchallenged. The two organizations agreed to carry on their struggle for
supremacy by playing bridge. For the first rubber, Control was
represented by the Chief and Maxwell Smart, Agent 86. Siegfried and
Shtarker played for Kaos.
Today’s hand was the first one played. Siegfried, West, opened one club,
but the Chief and Max cruised into three no-trump. Siegfried led the club
seven. The Chief tabled his cards. "Good luck, Max."
"Thank you, Chief. Now let me see. I have to win nine tricks. Yes, well,
hmm. Low please, Chief."
Max won the first trick with the club nine, played a diamond to dummy’s king and led a heart back to the king and ace. Siegfried returned a club.
Max won with the club queen, cashed the diamond ace and, when the queen didn’t drop, played another heart. Siegfried won with the queen and led a third club, holding Max to seven tricks.
"Missed it by that much, Chief. You bid too much."
"No, Max," replied the Chief with a sigh. "If only you’d won the first trick with the club ace and overtaken the diamond king with your ace at trick two, you could have driven out Siegfried’s diamond queen. You would have won two spades, five diamonds and two clubs."
"Sorry about that, Chief."